Viewing Day...drama starts.

First, here is a slide show that my cousin made for tonight/tomorrow:
http://animoto.com/play/H0o0C6sh2uDekD9LxbNq0g

This morning Jenn, Mom and I got up early-ish and headed to the funeral home to see Nana's body and set up the picture boards in the room. Our Aunt, Uncle and cousin were also there seeing Nana.
Background: my aunt is awful. She and my dad have never gotten along- she wanted to put my Nana in a nursing home 7 years ago after my Poppa died, but dad didn't want that- clearly she did not need to be in a nursing home. my aunt then completely abandoned Nana and so did my two cousins- no calls, no visits nothing. they even abandoned us for the most part- I know there is more to the story than the nursing home thing but that seems to be a major issue.  My mom and dad are the reason that Nana had such a great life, especially for the past 8 years- she lived at home and had someone come over in the morning to get her out of bed and get her breakfast and then my parents took her dinner EVERY single night, my mom got her groceries every Saturday and took her to the grocery store until it was just too much for her to walk around the store, my mom took Nana to church every Sunday and we had lunch with her every Sunday after church. Nana started getting Dementia and it had gotten really bad- she could have passed my aunt on the street and never even looked twice- because she had never been around.

okay so back to this morning...
We get there and she is already there sitting up by the casket crying and saying Nana looks pretty-then she starts asking us if we think Nana is finally happy? UM WHAT?! I told her that Nana was happy...then she proceeds to tell me Nana was not a happy person and that I didn't grow up with her.... but I'm pretty sure I did grow up with her- I knew her all my life and my aunt doesn't even know my Nana anymore- she laughed every time we were with her. That made me SOOOOOOOOO mad. I had to walk out and I just burst into tears...while i was out Jenn said that Jamie said she was sorry she upset me but that I needed to get over it.
yeah, she is NOT nice.

happy :)

Then she started asking my mom about why Nana isn't wearing a watch- mom said that Nana hadn't worn a watch in years...yea, you would know that if you had seen your mom these past 8 years!-  then she tells mom "Momma always wore a watch" ...um, nope.
And thennn about the food stuff after the funeral- Mom was saying the ladies from church were going to set something up and my aunt said that if all else fails we could open up Nana's house for everyone to bring food...yeah, you go ahead since you DONT EVEN HAVE A KEY to the place... My mom was getting annnoyed with that too..
It's going to be even more annoying this evening at the viewing because none of my dad's extended family that live in WVa know that my aunt has been absent the past 8 years...so she will talk to them like she knew everything about Nana...and they will comfort her like she lost a huge part of her life... when honestly- her daily life with not change one bit. Whereas my Dad's life as he knew it is over- no more dinner at Nana's everything- going over there every afternoon to check on her....

I just thank God my dad wasn't there this morning- he was not ready to see Nana's body yet and it wouldn't have done him any good. He went over to the church to try to talk to one of the pastors but there wasn't anyone there- must be off for the holidays/new year but that makes me disappointed because I know it took a lot for dad to go there...

Jenn, Mom and I went and printed out some more recent pictures for a separate picture board that we are going to take this evening... I'm not sure how this evening and tomorrow will go-  i can only hope we make it through with no confrontations...

Main Prayer Request: mainly for my dad. he is taking this so hard and seeing him this sad is breaking all of our hearts. I am not sure he ever really 'bounced back' after my Poppa died in 2003 and I am sure he is just feeling lost now that he doesn't have either parent anymore, esp bc Nana was such a large part of our lives. I pray that he can find someone to talk to outside of our family, to work through his feelings and have some peace because it is not easy to keep all those feeling trapped inside..