Yesterday...to put it simply...well it pretty much sucked.
I was feeling slightly depressed..on the verge of tears the whole day.
I felt like it was the day after JMU Graduation all over again. You know those days after an amazing event when it just hits you that that amazing event the day before meant that things would never be the same again... that's what happened to me yesterday- while I was so very very happy for Katie- I have known her my ENtire life (we have been next door neighbors since before we were born ha) and in all those 23 years I have never seen her more happy than she was on Friday when she married Sterling- I couldn't help being sad for what are probably selfish reasons. Things are just going to change now that she is a wife. She's the first of my close friends to get married and another one is getting married next year...and then things will really change! I'm not saying that I in any way think that we won't be friends anymore- its just going to be different when she gets back from her honeymoon in two weeks.
I was also a little sad because I want that happiness...I want to find the one my soul loves (Song of Solomon 3:4).It's hard not to get discourage when you see your best friends getting engaged and married. I just feel a little like I'm being left behind.. I have blogged this before I think- but I'm so ready to be done with school so I can feel like I'm moving on in life and not stuck in this college phase...because I'm so over it!
In the midst of all this, I have decided to try and do a fieldwork placement next summer in either Charlotte, NC or Greenville, SC- there are major hospitals in both cities and the hospital in Greenville has housing for interns that is $50/week (I'd be there 12 weeks). I was talking to one of the other interns at Catawba who did a placement there last year and apparently they don't even make you pay for it which is awesome. And I've heard Charlotte is full of fun things to do- and single young professionals!
I just need a change of scenery- need to see new faces and places,
to get myself out of my comfort zone for a while and see what's out there.
I am trying to remember that I am not in control and that God is, and He does have a plan for me. I really do believe that there is a man out there who will make me realize that finding him was worth the wait. I only wish that knowing that would make the wait easier!
"You do not understand now what I am doing,
but one day you will understand"
-John 13:7
4 comments:
I live in the Charlotte area, and I have many friends who are in nursing school and have worked in the nearby hospitals. If you have any questions that I could pass along to them, let me know!
I am new to blogging, and would love if you would stop by and visit me! http://carolinaonmymind1223.blogspot.com/
I have had the same feeling before and I know it's no fun :( Don't get discouraged though. You are smart, pretty, and I'm sure you have a fabulous personality even more fabulous than we can tell on a blog and twitter! Definitely try and get out of your comfort zone...when I did (Florida to Mississippi...random lol) I found a lot of happiness here. :) Have faith girl!
Charlotte is beautiful!
Excited to follow you and see new posts!
<3
I'm not sure how I found your blog, but I just wanted to stop and comment. I love how open and honest you were in this post. I think it's really hard to be that real in blogland sometimes (at least, for me it is :) But I really appreciate bloggers like you that are just them. Real. I know I don't know you, but I think you're going to be okay. I think your faith is stronger than you're feeling like it is right now. And I think your wait will be worth it. Just my 2 cents. For whatever it's worth :)
p.s. I lived in Charlotte a couple years ago. It is beautiful there. And there really is a ton to do!
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