but we don't hear much about forgiving ourselves. and I feel like forgiving yourself is the hardest of the three to do.
This is something that I REALLY struggle with.
It seems like on a daily basis, my mind just wonders and I catch myself thinking of past events..just replaying them in my mind..the times that I have done things that I just shouldn't have done...said things that may have hurt other people, when I have been careless, when I made the wrong decisions, put myself in situations that I should not have been in...
I will just sit and think to myself, asking 'why' and going through the 'what ifs' ...
I hate that I will beat myself up over things that I can't go back and change,
and I hate that my past actions still creep up on me and make me feel like an awful person.
Why is it so hard for me just forgive myself...and let myself move on and forget about where I've been and what I've done/said?
"Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I’m reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just wont let me forget "
And failure knocks me down again
I’m reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just wont let me forget "
-Sanctus Real
"And I don’t have to carry
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven"
The weight of who I’ve been
Cause I’m forgiven"
-Sanctus Real
Right here, right now I'm forgiving myself, no longer going to blame myself or have any resentment towards myself for things that I have done in the past. I'm not going to let past events flood my mind, won't worry about things that I have no control over right now..won't stress over events and actions that can't be changed.
what's done is done and I need to move forward...
[wow.. that sounds like some sort of oath! haha]
It's probably easier said than done, but it's important to me that I do this for myself, and make an effort to not beat myself up over things of the past.
whew. okay... tell me I'm not the only one who struggles with this?!
2 comments:
This is my heart. I have been struggling with this so much and just this morning I felt guilt creep up on me. The Lord is truly forgiving, but I seem to always doubt that I'm even worth forgiving. It's hard for me to just let go. I'll say some prayers for you, sweet girl. This is a tough one!
I know exactly how you feel- seriously! I couldn't have said it any better. It can be overwhelming at times, when those guilty thoughts creep up on you, and even though we know the Lord has forgiven us, it's hard to convince ourselves that it's the past- not a reflection of who we are now.
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