I've done things I'm not proud of, things that contradict my morals, things that I wouldn't want anyone to know and right now I'm laying it all out. I'm not going to spill on the nitty gritty details on the internet but I am confessing to God. At church today my pastor said "A sin confessed is ten times better than a sin confronted" and I definitely needed to hear that. I need to let go of things from my past. I hate that I have regrets but I need to learn from them and move on. So right now, from this point forward I am going to practice what I preach. I am going to make a conscience effort to change my behaviors and to never make the same mistakes again. I need to get my life in order. I am beyond ready to find someone to share life with, but I am never going to find it if i keep on the same path i've been on for the past 21 years. "if you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten" I need to change myself, I'm working on the the inside and the outside. and I will find someone that loves me for who I am.
The past few days I have not been able to get a certain someone out of my thoughts and dreams. I always thought he could have been meant for me but he's happy with someone else and I just really need to accept that and honestly, I am happy for him, he's such a great guy and deserves the best, i just with i was what he wanted. but I need to accept the things that I can't control.
so now that i have opened up and gotten some of this out...thats it. no more thinking about my mistakes from the past, just focusing on the future and what I am going to start doing differently from here on out. My life will fall in place as it should; God has great plans in store. (:
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